Home why did you abandon me?
The words of my soul whisper.
Calling across the endless waters,
reflecting glass hiding healing love.
Home where are you?
The arms of my heart outstretched.
Reaching through the grey mist,
a blanket hiding hopeful belonging.
Home why are you silent?
The trembling of my body echoes.
Begging in the darkness of night,
a cold touch hiding warm comfort.
This shore is not your shores.
This home is not my home.
This love not our love.
This belonging not belonging at all.
Return to me
Allow me to return
I am illusion, breaking into ad infinitum, splintering across the night sky. Ever shining, ever unreachable.
The bang echoed loudly in the nothingness.
God was dead.
Spiralling into a hundred billion galaxies.
All whispering, God must die so that we might live.
You took me in and became home.
You held me and became safety.
You listened and became healing.
You smiled and became joy.
I love you but do not possess you.
I hold you but do not bind you.
I want you but do not need you.
I am you but do not complete you.
There are two souls dancing on the mirror of the quiet windless ocean.
There are two whole hearts beating steady in each other’s keeping.
There are two minds building the cobbled stone path to wisdom.
There is you and I on this one journey into the beautiful unknown.
I’ve worn you, my beloved cloak of grief, for so long, a companion.
Dark and musky I carried you with me, until you felt like skin, my skin.
My mind grew attached to you, the thought of letting go a betrayal.
Precious fabric, woven with cords drawn from deep within me.
Painted on your sleeves, a colourful remembrance of my tortured past.
I thought I swore an oath to you, by faithful sacrifices of bountiful tears.
I sensed the slightest change, a bloom, a message of the seasons.
The smallest ray of sunshine on that gray and gloomy rainy day.
Becoming aware of your heaviness, weighing me down, uncomfortably.
I touched your ivory buttons, feeling it between my cold fingers.
I felt the delicate images, lovingly carved on them, irrelevant now.
I heard your cries, as I unbuttoned, first one then another, slowly.
There was a painful tearing of flesh as I removed you from my back.
The act of letting go drawing blood from my ever faithful soul.
Claws of fear clutching frantically at my heart, what am I without you?
Your powerful addictive pulse calling out, desperately reaching.
I knew not to look back at you, but rather turn my face toward the sun.
Shining softly on the faint smile creeping onto my worn out face.