I’ve done well

I read a poem
And in that moment I realised
I’ve done well.
Done well surviving
Surviving the chaos that plays out
Inside the walls of the great I am.
The hidden unseen chambers
Where all the voices play
And the devil and demons have their say.
I’ve done well surviving
All that could’ve been.
On kitchen floors with tears and knives
Never seen by the ones who inflicted the pain.
The tears and train tracks that pulled at me
But could not have me.
I’ve done well surviving all the taunts
The names and shame layered on my skin.
I’ve done well surviving the slippery slopes
Of out-of-control nights in pubs and clubs.
Finding a space where I could save myself
From the vortex of what I could’ve been
But I chose not to be.
I’ve done well building a beautiful life
With broken views and an abandoned heart.
A child carrying bread and water home
To people who could not see my blistering feet.
I’ve done well surviving the cold darkness
That overcame the ones now lying in graves.
I’ve done well surviving the tyrannical pushing
For perfection to be seen, loved and accepted.
The lonely valley where the buck always stops.
I’ve done well keeping love, joy and hope alive
In the nonchalant discarding of sacrifices.
I’ve done well to just be here still.